“Each page of this hand-bound book has a square cut out of the center, rotated 1 degree from the previous page. The holes form a twisting tunnel through the book, with the front and back covers at right angles. The binding lets it bend and twist into various sculptural forms.
Laser-cut Bristol paper pages. Coptic bound with 1/8 inch laser-cut Baltic Birch plywood covers and waxed linen thread.”
First date:I feel like I just told you a lot of embarrassing stuff about myself (ed.: he hadn't), you have to even it out.
Me:Okay. Let me think.
Him:Make it good.
Me:Alright. I sometimes sleep with a mouthguard.
Me:A mouthguard. Like a hockey player wears. It's for when I'm anxious.
Him:Like, a full plastic--
Me:Yeah. Custom-fitted by a dentist. They took a plaster mold of my mouth to make it.
Him:How does that help with anxiety?
Me:Oh, it doesn't. I just think a lot, so when I'm sleeping and stressed I clench my jaw and it overworks the muscles and then my mouth won't open straight. So I wear a mouthguard so I can clench on that instead.
Him:So basically you have a retainer.
Me:It's a lot less sexy than that. It's like inverted dentures. The mouth breathing alone...
Him:It sounds kind of cute.
Me:No it doesn't. Literally nothing about what I just said is cute.
I have all of the plaid shirts. All of the plaid shirts were given to me. Oh did you want to wear a plaid shirt? Well you can’t, because they are all here with me, and you can’t have them. You can’t borrow them either, because I need them, to have. I am the coolest ever. Coolness is measured in ownership of plaid shirts.